What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
EFT is rooted in attachment theory, which emphasizes that humans have an innate drive to connect emotionally with others. When these emotional bonds are threatened or damaged, it can lead to distress, anxiety, and relationship breakdowns. EFT aims to create secure attachments between individuals by addressing and reshaping these emotional responses. If you’re interested in learning more about EFT, check out Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson.
The Core Principles of EFT
Emotional Awareness: EFT slows down interactions to allow individuals become not only more aware of their emotions but their partner’s emotions. It also allows them to see how their emotions impact each other and their interactions.
Attachment Needs: Recognizing our needs is one thing, communicating those needs can only be done once we know those needs. EFT helps individuals understand their needs and then allows space for couples to practice vulnerability in communicating those needs.
Changing Interaction Patterns: Do you feel like conversations with your partner just keep going in circles and you can never get anywhere? EFT helps couples identify those cycles—such as criticism or withdrawal—and implement and practice healthier, more supportive communication.
The EFT Process
EFT typically unfolds in three stages:
De-escalation: The therapist helps partners recognize and understand their negative interaction patterns. They explore the emotions underlying these behaviors and work to create a safe space for open communication.
Restructuring Interactions: In this stage, partners begin to express their emotional needs more clearly and respond to each other’s vulnerabilities. This involves creating new patterns of interaction that foster emotional support and understanding.
Consolidation and Integration: The final stage focuses on solidifying new patterns and skills. Couples learn to maintain their emotional connections and handle future conflicts in healthier ways.
Effectiveness of EFT
Research has demonstrated the effectiveness of EFT in various contexts, including:
Couples Therapy: Research done by Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT, indicates that approximately 70-75% of couples experience a significant reduction in distress after completing EFT, with around 90% showing improvement. (Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. New York: Little, Brown and Company.)
Family Therapy: EFT is also effective in family therapy settings, helping families address emotional issues and strengthen bonds. Similar to the outcomes of couples, Sue Johnson’s research shows that around 70% of families experience noticeable positive changes after completing EFT. (Alexander, P. C., & Reddin, C. (2012). "Emotionally Focused Therapy for Families: A Pilot Study." Journal of Family Therapy, 34(1), 55-78. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.2011.00467.x.)
Individual Therapy: While primarily designed for couples and families, EFT techniques can be adapted for individual therapy to help clients explore their emotional experiences and attachment styles. Studies show that between 70-80% of individuals report a significant reduction in symptoms related to anxiety, depression and emotional distress after EFT (Greenberg, L. S., & Watson, J. (2006). "Emotion-Focused Therapy for Depression." Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 13(2), 131-144. doi:10.1111/j.1468-5884.2006.00015.x)
Benefits of Emotionally Focused Therapy
EFT offers numerous benefits, including:
Enhanced Emotional Connection: The E in EFT stands for Emotion! Focusing on emotions allows partners into each other’s emotional lives. Being more aware of these parts of each other not only fosters deeper emotional bonds but ultimately, leads to more fulfilling relationships.
Improved Communication: As one of the leading reasons couples come to therapy, EFT offers skills and practicing for expressing feelings and needs in a comfortable and effective way. In turn, this reduces misunderstandings and can lead to handling conflicts better in the future
Increased Empathy: Do you ever feel misunderstood by your partner or like your partner doesn’t see your perspective? EFT creates a space where we slow down interactions. This allows and encourages partners to stop and see things from each other’s perspectives and hopefully have a better understanding of the other.
Long-Lasting Change: The skills learned in EFT are meant to be applied to a multitude of contexts and situations. The hope is that the implementation of these skills lead to lasting improvements in how individuals and couples relate to each other, even after therapy has ended.
Getting Started with EFT
If you’re considering EFT for yourself or your relationship, here are some steps to take:
Find a Qualified Therapist: Look for a licensed therapist trained in EFT. They can guide you through the process and tailor the therapy to your specific needs.
Commit to the Process: Change won’t happen over night! Be active in the process and be willing to explore both emotions and vulnerability. It may not come naturally at first, but having an attitude of growth and an open mind will set you up for success!
Practice at Home: It might be clunky and awkward at first, but practicing the skills discussed in session is really the best way to begin implementing EFT.
Be Patient: Just like any other life change, EFT takes time! Be patient with yourself and your partner as you both begin practicing and remember, no one is expecting perfection!
Conclusion
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a transformative approach that addresses the emotional roots of relationship issues. By fostering emotional awareness and secure attachments, EFT helps individuals and couples create healthier, more fulfilling connections. Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship or seeking personal growth, EFT offers valuable tools for enhancing emotional bonds and improving communication. If you’re interested, consider taking our quiz to learn which EFT therapist is best for you!
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